Sex in Numbers (S.I.N. Rock Star #1) Read online

  I bring it all to the bathroom along with some undergarments and set it down on the counter. I wash off yesterday’s make-up while the water in the shower gets hot. I step in and the rain shower is heaven. I wash my hair and spend at least twenty minutes indulging in the warmth before finally showering and getting out. I’m toweling myself dry, when Diesel walks in unexpectedly. I have just enough time to back myself against the glass shower and cover my front with the small ass towel I had in my hand.

  “What the fuccc—?” he asks obviously startled by my presence. It’s deja vu’ in reverse.

  “Get out, Diesel!” I shout. He stands there blinking as he looks me up and down.

  “I can’t believe this is what was under all that heavy make up and baggy clothes. Then again, I knew it.”

  “I’m not having this conversation with you, right now. Please get out,” I beg. I’m near tears. He is seeing me in my most vulnerable state. Not my near nakedness, but the absence of my armor. The armor that keeps men from being attracted to me. I don’t want anybody to see me.

  “Okay. Fine. We need to set up some bathroom schedule though.” He backs out with his eyes on me the entire time. Once he is out, I run to the door and put the lock on the door. This was my fault. I can’t believe I didn’t lock the fucking door. I’m living with four men.

  I throw my clothes on in a flash. It would be my luck that the one person I didn’t want to see me without my armor is the one who did. The last thing I need is for him to coming sniffing my way. It’s not that I think I’m some catch, by any means, but guys always want the very thing they can’t have—the thrill of the chase. The women who clamor over him are way sexier that I could ever hope to be in my wildest dreams. Let him stick with those women in his league. I’m determined not to make this weird. After all, it was just like me walking in on him yesterday and gawking like a horny teenager. One good turn deserves another. I know he isn’t going to let this go, though. All I can do is put my face and armor back on, and act like I don’t give a rat’s ass about what he saw—which wasn’t much, body wise.

  I head downstairs and the house is once again quiet. They’re obviously here somewhere, so I head downstairs to investigate. Just as I reach the bottom step to the first floor, the door across from me swings open. Gable walks past me to head upstairs. Xander didn’t get a chance to show me this room during the brief tour of the house he gave me. I was too infatuated with the second floor and the lake out back. I can clearly see now that they have the room set up as their makeshift studio.

  My ears perk up at the rasp that comes from Diesel as he sings into the mic he is holding. You call the shots, babe. I just wanna be yours. He sings the lyrics to Arctic Monkey’s, I Wanna Be Yours, and I swear it’s like he is singing them to me. His stare pierces through me. Without all the noise of the women competing for his attention, I can focus strictly on his voice. The timber of his voice is enthralling—so raw and captivating. He could sing the fucking yellow pages and get my attention. He closes his eyes as he gets lost in the lyrics, and I take this moment to do my own staring. His body sways to the sexiness of the music. His denim jeans are snug against his muscular legs and his black tank shows the work he puts in the gym. His chiseled chest begs to be caressed. God, this man makes me crazy. My thoughts are all over the damn place. I want to hold on to my comfort zone, yet he inspires all kind of lustful thoughts. Not that I would act on any of them or even admit it to him, but damn he is insanely fucking sexy. I need to get my shit together. Nothing changes. Status quo. I don’t have time for men. I have goals and men are not part of the plan. I will just ogle privately, but that is as far as I’m willing to take it. Simply put—nice eye candy.

  I don’t realize I’m just standing in the doorway like a goof until Xander walks over to me.

  “What do you need, Lourdes?” he whispers, never missing a chord.

  “Oh. I just came to see where everyone was,” I whisper back.

  “Our practice sessions are closed. The guys need to be able to concentrate.” His eyebrows scrunch in concern. “Sorry.”

  “No worries. I see you guys are busy. I’m going back upstairs.” Gable walks back in with a jug of water.

  “We’ll be wrapping up in about an hour…okay?”

  “Sure,” I tell Xander. He closes the door and the sound is very faint now. You definitely wouldn’t be able to hear it upstairs. The riddle is solved. They’re in a soundproof room. I go back upstairs and try to decide what to do with myself. I’m bored. Then, I get the brilliant idea to cook the guys breakfast. I don’t know if they ate already, but the kitchen doesn’t smell like it, unless they ate out. Oh well, hopefully not. I pull out a carton of eggs, veggies, and even luck up to find some ham. I know Diesel can’t have a regular omelet, so I separate some egg whites for him. I spray coconut oil into a skillet and make omelets for the guys with all the fixings. Then I make an egg white omelet for Diesel with just veggies. I put on a pot of coffee and make scrambled eggs for myself. I’m mid bite when the guys come up the stairs.

  “What is that smell so good?” Gable questions.

  “I made you guys all omelets. Diesel, I made you an egg white omelet with veggies. I used coconut oil to coat the pan to keep it healthy for you.”

  “Look at Diesel getting special treatment already,” Gable jokes.

  “Thank you, Lourdes.” Diesel smiles. “Are you trying to out shine me with the fellas.”

  “Hush. No,” I say punching in the arm softly. Holy crap. He is solid.

  Xander ignores the flirtatious undertone Gable is trying to insinuate. “Thank you for breakfast, princess. Especially, since I kicked out of our practice,” he says apologetically.

  “Yeah, princess,” the guys echo in unison. Ugh. Xander needs to stop calling me princess in front of these guys. They can be so childish.

  “Not a problem at all,” I reply. I grab a cup of coffee and take my omelet to the table. The guys grab theirs and all disappear. Unfortunately, not Diesel. He joins me at the table.

  “Thanks again for this,” he says seriously, pointing to his food. “That was very thoughtful. I know you weren’t to happy with me earlier.”

  “It’s fine Diesel. I should have locked the door. That was my fault.”

  “Yah. You did leave it half open and I did yesterday,” he laughs.

  “The house was quiet so I thought everyone was gone. Both days.” I laugh once I realize I fell for the same shit two days in a row.

  “See. Easy fix. We both just need to lock the door when we’re in there,” he suggests.

  “Agreed.”

  “I am curious about something though,” he continues. Here we go. I knew it was coming. “Why all the make-up? You are so beautiful without it. And those curves, just wow. That petite waist and curvaceous ass. That is a shame to cover all that up with those baggy clothes you wear.”

  “I slap his arm, not so softly this time. “Shut up, Diesel. You didn’t see shit. And I wear the make-up because I like it.”

  “I call bullshit. You’re hiding behind a persona you’ve created. You’re not Goth. I know people that are and you’re not it,” he accuses.

  “Who the fuck said I was Goth or even trying to be? You all assumed that. I just happen to like black and baggy clothes. Get the fuck off my case. It’s none of your damn business.” I’ve lost my appetite. I push the plate away from me.

  “I just about have you pegged, princess. I know hurting when I see it. Don’t worry; I don’t plan to pry because it is your fucking business. What do I give a shit? Oh, and I saw plenty with your naked ass press against the reflective glass. I saw the curves of your breast too with that pitiful excuse for a towel you were holding up—such a waste.”

  I’m so spitting mad that I’m speechless. He doesn’t wait for my retort. He pushes his own food away from him and the chair screeches against the title as he gets up. “A fucking waste,” he mumbles again, as he walks off toward the first floor.

  “Stop trying
to figure me out, asshole,” I finally get out when he is halfway down the stairs.

  “Already have,” he assures. A few moments later I hear the door slam downstairs. So I guess we’re back to square one. One step forward and two steps back. I hope Xander didn’t overhear our fight. I don’t want to explain that Diesel saw me half-naked, which apparently is little more than half according to him. I get up and gather his plate with mine and toss the remainder of the food in the trash. I rinse the plates and stick them in the dishwasher. I need to talk to Brooke. I miss her and I need someone to unleash all this shit on. It’s a little after eight California time now, so she should be up. Still I text her, just in case she is not alone.

  Me: Call me if you can. No rush if you have company

  A minute doesn’t even go by before my phone is ringing. “Hey, Brooke,” I sign into the phone.

  “Nuh uh, heifer. You wait three days to call me, and then it’s when you have issues. Damn woman, what could possibly be wrong already?”

  “Sorry. I was taking time to get settled in, and who says anything is wrong, puta?” Brooke laughs so hard at me calling her a whore in Spanish that I have to take the phone away from my ear. This is how we speak to each other, but nobody else better try it.

  “I know you, pendejo,” she says, continuing with the Spanish insults.

  “Miss you already, cray cray.” And I do. I wish she were here with me.

  “You already know I was missing you before you even left, Lourdes,” she says suddenly serious. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

  That is all the prompting I need. I delve into everything that has happened in the last few days. I tell her how Diesel drives me crazy, and how I have unwanted reactions to him. It’s like I know better, but I can’t control my thoughts about him.

  “It sounds like you got it bad, girlfriend. Your mind is saying one thing, but you’re right. You can’t hide the truth from yourself. I have to say this is the first time I’ve heard you speak this adamantly about a guy in the two years I’ve known you—they’re the enemy, remember?” Of course Brooke doesn’t know the real truth why I’m turned off by men, but she respects me enough not to pry. She’s always said she trusts that if the time comes, when I’m ready to share, then I will. Until that day, she won’t push. No, I’m not into women either. I love Brooke and if there was anyone I’d be willing to share my story with, it would be her, but I can’t. If I speak of those demons, I fear they will haunt me even more than they already do. No. I choose to suppress those memories to the extent that I’m able. Diesel is the first guy to get my attention since even before I met Brooke.

  And wouldn’t luck have that he is totally unattainable. He is definitely a “hit it and quit it” type of guy. It’s better this way I guess. It helps me keep the promise I made to myself about not letting a man get close to me.

  “Yes, I remember and they still are,” I reply. This is why I needed to talk to her. She gives me perspective.

  “I need to meet this sexy motherfucker who has succeeded in turning my friend’s head,” she kids. “I guess I’ll see for myself tomorrow.” It takes me a second to process what she just said, but when I do, I let out a squeal.

  “You’re coming here?” I can hardly contain my excitement.

  “Yes. Sasha is coming with me. I hope that it is okay.” Sasha is her cousin that is one year older than us. I don’t dislike her, but she is a little snooty. “My aunt went on a cruise for a week. Sasha came to stay with me while she was gone, but I was already planning to surprise you. Told you I was missing you before you left.”

  “No, that’s fine.”

  “We will be arriving by ten in the morning. I’ll call you once we check into our hotel.”

  “No way. You’re staying here. Let me talk to Xander. You can sleep with me. I’m sure one of the guys can double up.” I hope Xander and the guys agree to it. “How long are you staying?”

  “Just a few days. I plan to register for classes while I’m there.” I forgot about that.

  “Great. Let me talk to Xander and I’ll call you this evening. I can’t wait to see you.”

  “Same here.” We say our goodbyes and I try to think how I’m going to approach Xander. I can usually get my way with him, but I don’t know how the guys are going to feel about it.

  I walk into the house, but it’s empty. A quick look out by the lake I see a couple of the guys in a canoe. I see Lourdes sitting in in one of the chaise lounge chairs fully clothed—meaning the absence of a swimsuit. Isn’t she hot with all of those clothes? It’s August here in the South, so even though it’s nearly five in the afternoon, it still quite hot. I sit my helmet down and walk down the pier to join her. I sit in a chaise next to hers.

  “Hi,” I say simply. I know she might be still upset about the fight earlier, so I’m treading carefully. She looks over at me dumbfounded.

  “So that’s it? You’re just going to pretend you weren’t a jackass to me before you left.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you, Lourdes. Let’s just start again.” Her eyebrows knit as if she is puzzled about something, but then she just shrugs.

  “Look. I don’t have the energy to fight with you, either. I don’t want to be the one to come here and cause a rift between everyone. Just keep your eyes to yourself and your nose out of my business and we will be fine.” She’s being snarky, but it doesn’t bother me. Whatever keeps the peace. I lean my chair all the way back¸ cross my hands behind my head, and close my eyes. I can feel the sun beaming down on me as the first bead of sweat drips from my forehead.

  “Uh, what are you doing?” she questions.

  I open one eye and peer over at her. “Sunbathing. What does it look like?”

  “But you’re in regular clothes,” she addresses.

  “So are you,” I point out and she chuckles. I close my eyes and continue my mission to put her at ease. They guys are further down the lake now, having a good time, and I don’t want her to be alone. It’s the least I can do—my peace offering. The sun disappears behind the trees, and I’m thankful that I won’t be red as a lobster trying to keep her company. After about ten minutes, she leaves to go back inside and I’m happy to follow. Walking into the house where the AC is so welcoming. I grab a glass of water while she takes a seat on the sofa. I take my water and go sit next to her.

  “What are we watching?” She looks over at me and smirks.

  “You’re being weird, but whatever. I watched your show so you’re welcome to watch Elementary with me.”

  “I love that show,” I say a little too excited.

  “Sure you do,” she replies in doubt.

  “Joan and Sherlock are consultants for the NYPD. She used to be his sober companion, but now she helps him solve all these cool murders.” She gives me that same puzzled look she did outside. I need to rein in my sharing.

  “So I guess you do watch the show, but it isn’t one of your recordings on the DVR,” she says, still scrolling.

  “Yeah, the guys would probably laugh me out of the house so it’s a secret,” I lie. I do watch the show, but I don’t record it here. “Besides if I happen to miss an episode, I can catch it on Hulu. That saves room on the DVR for someone else to record something.”

  “True,” she answers as she ponders that explanation. “Well, did you see the last episode because I’m about to watch the latest one?”

  “Sure did. Go for it.” She starts the show and I enjoy trying to guess who the murderer is before she does. It is always the most unlikely suspect. I can help but sneak glances at her. She is beautiful even with the shit she has caked up on her face. Her laugh is infectious. They guys walk in near the ending of the show, and Xander gives me a warning look. No words need to be spoken. He is silently warning off his sister.

  When the rolling credits begin, I excuse myself to go work on the lyrics for Come Undone. Xander follows me. I somehow knew he would. “You’re not trying to push up on Lourdes, are you?” Yup. Straight to the point.
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br />   “No, man. Just trying to make her feel welcome. You guys are the ones who left her sitting by herself while you went canoeing.” Reverse tactic—a skill unmatched.

  “She didn’t want to go. Look you’re right. Just checking. She’s not like most women. I have to look out for her.”

  “Of course. And I can tell she’s different.” I pat him on the shoulder and slide the headphones on to signal that is the end of that conversation. Truth is, I’m not so sure. I’m can’t say for certain he has nothing to worry about. She is a gazelle right in the midst of a lion’s den. I’m not sure he can protect her from the inevitable. Women are plentiful, yet they don’t hold a candle to this one. Lourdes has aurora of light that attracts even the worst of demons. I feel the pull and I know that this is all temporary. I have shit I need to be focusing on, like these lyrics. I turn the track up to Come Undone and get lost in the transitions. In no time at all, it all flows seamlessly. I finish in the song in about an hour. Before it’s even shared, I know this one will be special.

  Xander informs us later that Lourdes has a friend and the girl’s cousin coming into town in the morning and wants them to stay here. The guys are a little too quick to agree. This has been a woman-free zone for reason. I think the idea is asking for trouble, but I’m not going to be the one to reject the idea. Not me of all people. Lourdes already took the biggest room, so I’m not sharing the room I’m sleeping in. Xander agrees to share with Keyser and open up his room to this Sasha chic, while Brook shares with Lourdes. Let’s see how this fiasco plays out.

  I was the first one up and ready to go this morning. Xander is taking me to pick up Brooke in a few minutes, and I can hardly wait. You’d swear we haven’t seen each other in a few years rather than a few days. I’ve eaten breakfast, made breakfast for the house, including Diesel’s egg white omelet, and now I’m pacing. Xander calls me from downstairs, and I’m already halfway to him before he can tell me he made his room ready for Sasha. My gut turns with the mention of her name, but she is not going to ruin the visit. I’m curious to see what the guys think of her snooty ass. Surely Diesel wouldn’t be interested. He is a bit of a diva himself. He’s used to receiving attention and being chased, not the other way around so no worries there. What the hell am I saying? I’m not worried either way.