Creed of Redemption (S.I.N. Rock Star Trilogy #2) Read online

  Creed of Redemption (S.I.N. Rock Star Trilogy)- Book #2

  Copyright © 2016 S.R. Watson & Shawn Dawson

  First Edition: August 2016

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction. The publication of these trademarks is not associated with or sponsored by the trademark owner.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without the express written permission of the author.

  Cover Design: Sommer Stein of Perfect Pear Creative Covers

  Editor: Vanessa Leret Bridges of PREMA

  Photographer: Allan Spiers of Allan Spiers Photography

  Formatter: Stacey Blake of Champagne Formats

  Cover Model: Shawn Dawson

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Creed of Redemption

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Sneak Peek of Unforbidden (Forbidden Trilogy) ~ Book # 3

  Acknowledgements

  About the Authors

  Other Books

  Creed of Redemption

  Original Song Lyrics by Diesel

  I told myself that I’d never look back

  I was the reason for all your pain and I never wanted to hurt you again

  I never wanted to be the reason for your tears so it was best that I moved on

  But then you forgave me for all my past sins

  You refused to give my heart back and it was then that the road to my redemption began

  Here is my creed of Redemption

  I promise to be a better man this time around

  My heart was never mine from the minute you came around

  Here is my creed of redemption

  I will give you my all

  You’ve seen me at my worst

  You see me like nobody else can

  You have my heart and I will forever be your man

  Redemption

  Redemption

  You’re my redemption

  2 Months Ago

  The catastrophic scene that just unfolded before me has left me rocked. I didn’t wait for Diesel to give me the green light before showing up here and now I may have ruined everything. The hurt. The disgust. The eyes never lie. Lourdes made it blatantly clear that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with either of us. I watch helplessly as my brother paces frantically, running his hands through his hair. With each distraught step, I witness his regression back to a place I know well. I’ve seen it, so I recognize it. He hits the wall near the kitchen before resting his head on his forearm. The wall is the only thing holding him up. “Fuck this shit,” he mumbles to himself a few times. The Diesel I grew up with is back, and it fucking rips my heart open. He let someone in and in its brevity, he was truly happy. Somehow Lourdes reached him—two broken pieces mended each other. Now she’s gone because she feels betrayed. Thing is, Diesel was going to tell her. He just needed time. Our story is not a pleasant one. Yes, we are identical twins, but there is a reason that we are carbon copies of one another. A fucked-up reason, but necessary all the same.

  I want to go to him, but I’m to blame for this. I needed to talk with him and I wasn’t getting through to him on his phone. My haste has unraveled our plan. I can’t even concentrate on the reason I came here in the first place. It will have to wait.

  “I’m sorry, brother,” I say from the sofa. I know these words are futile, but I don’t know what else to say. “Tell me what I can do to fix this.”

  “Nothing Sevyn. There is fucking nothing you can do. You’ve done enough, don’t you think?” Diesel hits the wall again and pieces of sheetrock crumble to the floor. “I’ve fucking lost her.”

  “Diesel—,” I start, but he holds up his hand to silence me.

  “Don’t! It’s done. This is the reason I don’t fucking let anyone get close to me. You give them the power to hurt you. I won’t make that mistake again.” He walks over to the window with his hands still in a fist and just stares out into the distance. “I didn’t deserve her anyway,” he adds faintly.

  I can’t stand here and watch him self-destruct—become a shell of his old self. Knowing I did this is more than I can stand right now. In one instant, I’ve managed to wreck two people with my carelessness. I have to get the hell out of here. I can’t be here for Diesel because he will not let me—not this version of him.

  “I’m so sorry Diesel. Just know, you do deserve someone like Lourdes. She needs someone like you.” I get up from the sofa and head toward the stairs leading to the first floor. “I’ll be in touch. I hope things work themselves out. Give it time and then tell her everything. I think she will understand.”

  Diesel turns to face me now. “What did you come for? What did you have to tell me that was so important that it couldn’t have fucking waited until I called you back?”

  “Nothing that can’t wait now. I should’ve just waited. I know I fucked up,” I retort.

  Diesel closes the distance between us in a blur. He’s nearly nose to nose with me now. “Are you serious right now? You just turned my damn world upside down and now you want to leave without giving me an explanation as to why? Think again, brother.” His nostrils flare, and I know he is restraining himself from pummeling the shit out of me.

  “It’s about our father,” I start.

  “Your father, but continue,” he corrects. He is wound tight. His body is stiff and those fists are at his side, ready to engage.

  “He’s dying!” I blurt out. I watch as the wind is knocked from his sails with that piece of news. His face falls before he works to school his features.

  “Good. At least one good thing came out of this fucking disastrous day.” His shoulders drop and his fists loosen. His words are at odds with how he looks. He looks lost and I don’t know how to fix it. I know he doesn’t mean what he just said. He has every reason to hate our father, yet in this moment, I’m not so sure that he does, despite his vile words.

  He turns on his heel and heads upstairs to the third floor. Our conversation is over.

  I’ll go for now. He needs time to digest this news and work his shit out with Lourdes. Our plan can wait. As I walk through the bushes to the motorcycle I have hidden, guilt gnaws at me. Thing is, I had an instant connection with Lourdes. I look toward the docks and I remember the first time I saw her there. Everyone was out enjoying the lake and she just sat there in the fucking August heat in baggy ass jeans and a black t-shirt. I shouldn’t have been attracted to her, but I was. Something about her intrigued me. Then she opened her mouth and her sass pulled me in further. Diesel had already warned me about their little spat so I would be armed with the info I needed to double as him, but I didn’t care. I
wasn’t going to let her stay mad. I didn’t change out of my clothes either. I sat my ass on that hot fucking dock with her and was determined to see her smile.

  I knew she could never be mine, but each time I doubled as Diesel in the house, my will was tested. Together Diesel and I had a plan and she wasn’t part of it. When Diesel fell for her, I knew I needed to close the door on the possibility of Lourdes and me. I know what my brother is feeling as far as Lourdes is concerned because, sadly, I feel it too. I wanted to run after her just as much as he did. She managed to get through to both of us and now she’s gone. Now I don’t have to pretend—to keep my feelings to myself. I should be relieved, but instead, I hate that I squandered a chance at happiness for my brother. I really do hope they work it out, even at the expense of my own happiness.

  I stare into the full-length mirror in the dorm room that I used to share with Brooke. The spring semester here at University of Alabama starts in a few days, yet all of my classes are online. I stare at the reflection of the dumbass looking back at me in the mirror, who might be about to make yet another mistake she’ll regret. I can’t believe I agreed to go on tour with Sex in Numbers. When I walked—no, when I stormed—away from the lake house two months ago, I swore I would never see Diesel or his twin brother ever again. Diesel nearly destroyed me. He let me fall for him while he and his twin brother substituted in and out of my life at their fucking convenience. Was any of it real? Hell, I don’t even know who my feelings were for.

  I desperately wanted to escape Alabama in that moment, but my life was here now. I had school obligations, not to mention, I was in Brooke’s car at the time. These things kept me from running, but it was Brooke who helped me keep my sanity. She wouldn’t let me go back to being the insecure girl who hid behind dark makeup and baggy clothes. Every day was a struggle to just exist, but I took it one day at a time. Although I still hurt, the pain fades a little more with each passing day.

  “Are you having second thoughts?” Brooke asks as she comes in and catches me staring blankly at myself in the mirror.

  “Well, it’s not like I’m anxious to be around Diesel again. That part sucks, but this is not for him. I can’t let him fuck up this opportunity for me.” Brooke nods approvingly.

  “Smart girl,” she replies. I’m glad somebody thinks so.

  Xander invited me last month to join their tour for a month or so. He thought it would be a great experience to continue documenting their journey. This is a valuable opportunity for my aspirations as music journalist. My peers would kill for the chance. Textbooks and the classroom can only teach so much. Because of this, I told him I would think it over. Xander never found out about my brief fling with Diesel, if you can call it that. He would have kicked his ass and the band’s dream of a record deal, would have probably been over before it started. No, Diesel came clean about who Sevyn was and left the explanation at that. He never told the guys that he and his brother exchanged places in the house, who knows how many times. He simply told the guys he had a twin brother but that it couldn’t be made public due to personal reasons. Nobody outside the band was allowed to know. The guys all respected his need for privacy, especially since it was Sevyn that connected them with Desiree. Of course, Xander wanted to keep me in the loop so he told me, after swearing me to secrecy. If he only knew how I really found out. I stayed quiet for the sake of keeping the band intact.

  Surprisingly, it was Brooke who talked me into saying yes to joining Xander on the tour. She pointed out that I didn’t have to stay the entire time. I only needed to stay long enough to get the gist of life behind the scenes. She pleaded with me to not let Diesel ruin this for me.

  “I like this strong woman standing here next to me,” she continues. I snap out of my reverie. I don’t know how strong I am, but we’re about to see.

  “We’ll see” I begin. “Besides, it will give me a chance to get to know Lily. She and Xander are getting kind of serious I think. He didn’t tell me this, but he asked her to join him on tour as well. That’s huge!”

  “Yeah, it is. It means no groupie pussy for him,” Brooke snickers. I don’t want to even think about seeing Diesel with all the groupies. I just have to keep telling myself that chapter of my life is closed.

  “Xander’s not like that anyway. He’s always been a one woman kind of guy. At least from what I’ve seen.” They do call themselves Sex in Numbers, so who knows. I’ve never witnessed him having player tendencies so that’s all that matters.

  “Wish more men were like him,” Brooke huffs. Most guys just want to see how many bitches they can bang.

  “What about Mike?” We met James and Mike at the club while the guys were performing one night. She and Mike have been seeing each other for about three months, which is a change for Brooke. She doesn’t normally keep the same guy around long. She gets bored with them quick.

  “Oh, I’m sure he’s a dog like the rest of them. He just hasn’t shown his true colors yet. I have my eye on him, though. Any sign of bullshit and his ass will get benched,” she winks.

  “You can’t look for stuff woman. Give the guy a chance.” Fancy me trying to give someone relationship advice. I couldn’t even sniff out I was being played. Whatever, we can’t both be pessimistic.

  “Come on, girlie. We can’t just stand here talking about these guys. You have a bus to get on tomorrow, and we have some shopping to do before then.” She’s already grabbing her purse off the bed.

  “I do need to get a few things,” I agree.

  “Girl, you are going to be on tour with some hot-as-fuck men. I’m sure you’ll get to go to some awesome celebrity parties and meet some new prospects. We can’t have you looking plain Jane,” she says with a giggle. “Just so you know, every break I get, I’m joining you. I’m inviting myself.” We both laugh, but I know she isn’t kidding.

  “I like plain Jane,” I tease. “It’s better than being skanky. There will be enough of that, I’m sure.”

  “True. Okay, we’ll find you a happy medium somewhere in the middle. Now come on, woman,” she says, pushing me out the door.

  I take in the sweetness of this bus and I feel like I need to pinch myself. Desiree didn’t spare no expenses. We’re hitting the road in style. It’s like we have a luxury hotel on wheels.

  “I take it you like?” Desiree appears behind me. I’ve been so busy checking out all the cool features of the bus that I didn’t even hear her get on. The guys are outside loading the last of their equipment and waiting for Lourdes to arrive.

  “Hell yeah, I do!” I grin. “But can we afford all of this? This fucker is huge.” I don’t even want to think about what this is hitting us for.

  “The tour is sold out. You guys touring with Reckless Ambition is the best move we could have made to get your name out there. Trust me. You guys can afford this and if everything works out as planned, you all will be climbing the charts in no time.”

  Reckless Ambition is the rock band that we will be opening for. They are killing the Billboard charts right now. Desiree is definitely impressing me. I have no doubt that she will help get us to the top.

  “I’m looking forward to it.” She puts a hand on her hip and my eyes follow. She always wears these sexy pantsuits that make it impossible for a man not to appreciate her curves. She clears her throat, and I know I’ve been busted.

  “Your first stop is in Los Angeles, so you guys will have a long drive ahead from Alabama. You’ll get there in time to rehearse before your first show, though. You’ll also meet Ivy and the guys at that time. I’m flying there, so I’ll see you guys in a few days.”

  “We’ll be ready. I’m glad there is an area set aside for us to rehearse. I swear everything we could possibly need has been thought of.”

  “Yeah, I might have added some specifications for them to include,” she smiles. “Just make sure you and the guys behave. Ivy is off limits. Don’t fuck this up.” Before I can respond, she waves me off and heads off the bus.

  Ivy performs bac
kup vocals for Reckless Ambition, and she is the fucking epitome of sexy. She has short, red hair and green eyes that pierce through you. She has a tattoo sleeve on her right arm and perky little tits that make every dick within a mile radius stand at attention. Not to mention, her vocals are the shit. Desiree has every right to put that warning on the table, but I don’t really have any plans to smash that. That’s like shitting where you sleep. My three fuck rule has been back in full force since my incident with Lourdes.

  I broke her. Not intentionally, but it doesn’t matter. Shit was better when I stuck to my rules. Now that I’ll be on the road, one night stands are all that I can offer. It’s better this way. No attachments or expectations. It’s been two months since I’ve seen or talked with Lourdes. We never made contact after that day she walked in on me and Sevyn. I tried to call and apologize a few times before I finally gave up. She needed to move on—to heal. I was surprised when Xander proposed that she join us on the tour for a bit. He thought it would be a good experience for her music journalist major and a bonus for Lily, since he had already invited her too. How in the hell could I object to that when the rest of the guys were okay with it? I would look like the biggest jerk! I finally came clean, letting them know I had been hiding the fact that I had a twin, and that was enough so I just kept my opinions to myself.

  I’m going to be me. I’m going to fuck bitches and I can’t be worried about Lourdes’s feelings. Truth is, her leaving the way she did hurt me too. I fucking opened up to her—broke all my rules for her—and in the end, she didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt. She didn’t give me a chance to explain or fix it. It wasn’t easy to let her in, and I did. She made me feel again and then ripped my damn heart open. No woman will ever get that chance again. The last two months have been hell. I didn’t stop until I fucked her out of my system and I have no intentions of going back down that road, so I hope she has moved on like I have.